[originally penned 27 May, 2010]
I have friends, treasured friends, who are willing, able and indeed happy to play word games with me. In some cases, these have turned into epic battles, with the fortunes of both sides waxing and waning with the phases of the moon, other solar system celestial bodies and, frankly, who’s more alert on that day*.
Anyhoo, I thought a recent, short one would be an amusing introduction to the subject:
While I enjoyed your [name deleted] post, and am in full support of the associated guest blog concept, I feel I must protest your spelling of the evil genius laugh ‘muahahahahahaha’.
I believe the correct spelling to be ‘mwahahahahahaha’.
While there is some evidence against my claim , and there is perhaps less supporting it , I base my argument both in regard to the linguistic cultural aesthetics of the written form, and my understanding of the history of the pronunciation of the spoken form.
I am willing to elucidate my claim, and to accept counter arguments, however I should point out I may be prepared to fight to the death on this issue.
 http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=muahahahahahaha&word2=mwahahahahahaha and http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=muahahahaha&word2=mwahahahaha and http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=muahahaha&word2=mwahahaha
I thank you for you letter regarding this most difficult of issues – you have dealt with it with both sincerity and integrity.
My response: I’ve always spelt it with the ‘w’ but then saw the ‘u’ version a couple of nights ago, and it appears to have sidled into my brain, cuckoo chick-like. Pushing back as we speak.
Thanking you again, and please don’t hesitate to pull me up on any further on issues of importance.
p.s. Nya nya nya nya nya nya!
[Him] Please accept my gratitude for your consideration of my humble attempt at constructive criticism. I was expecting, nay anticipating, a drawn out and arduous conflict on this matter, and it is with some small regret that I accept your acknowledgement of the veracity of my position.
[Me] Thanking you again, and please don’t hesitate to pull me up on any further on issues of importance.
[Him] Rest assured, on matters of such factual and aesthetic consequence, I shall do so, unrelentingly and with stalwart pedanticism.
[Me] p.s. Nya nya nya nya nya nya!
[Him] Correct spelling, but I think you will find you have annunciated one too many ‘nyas’.
At this point, I began to battle a little (reasons below):
* ahem *I would like at this juncture to request that I be given the opportunity to formulate my rejoinder to the below at a slightly later junction. Certain proceedings originating last night have resulted in my grey matter having taken on a somewhat-more-than-usual spongeyness, and it would, I feel, do us both a disservice were I to fail to be at least vaguely amusing
Yours, dear sir, in spirit, if not (at the moment) in wit
Postscript: It is the correct amount of nya nyas – I took care to count them at the time of penning the original cheekiness. [Note: I failed to pick up his misspelling of ‘enunciated’ - it shows what a state I must have been in :) ]
And, finally (exhange from both of us)
[Me] I would like at this juncture to request that I be given the opportunity to formulate my rejoinder to the below at a slightly later junction.
[Him] While I am not sure I am entirely comfortable with your use of ‘juncture’ and ‘junction’ in such usage in the same sentence, I accept your request unreservedly.
[Me] At this point, I will say only that your reservations regarding the poor use of certain wording in my first sentence are justified. I am, of course, riddled with embarrassment at so obvious an error. Of course, the phrase ‘see below’ also springs gently to mind. Regarding your acceptance, I proffer my gratitude.
[Me] Certain proceedings originating last night have resulted in my grey matter having taken on a somewhat-more-than-usual spongeyness, and it would, I feel, do us both a disservice were I to fail to be at least vaguely amusing
[Him] […], yours is a more than acceptable excuse for the lack of cognitive acuity.
[Me] Thanking you most kindly. While it is certainly not something of which to be proud, these circumstances do sometimes present themselves and I’ve always believed strongly that it is incumbent upon one to deal therewith with all dignity possible.
[Me] Postscript: It is the correct amount of nya nyas – I took care to count them at the time of penning the original cheekiness.
[Him] While the weight of evidence is most certainly in your favour , I remain firmly in the 5 nyas camp.
[Me] Being a good sport, I shall refrain from any form of celebration of my victory.
[Him] Yours unrepentantly,
OK, there was a little more, but this is probably enough. Still, amusing :)
* Caffeine is not always as helpful as one might think.