During an email conversation with friend, the following happened.  Related as it ocurred.  Friend shall be referred to as ‘x’

x: /winks

aimee: depending on wink: /looks scared ; /yet more deadpan ; /eye twitches ; /runs screaming

x: Sorry I will have to resort to coding, either that or I have to deal with with parallel universes.
Which is fine, cause I can code for that, but I am not sure gmails support parallel universe responses

if ( $aimee->reaction eq “looks scared” ) {

# Aimee is scared then we can either press the advantage of comfort but this depends on a few states

 if ( $x->currently_bastard ) {

   # This condition can be triggered by multiple factors.

   $x->say(“Oh yeah I like that look”);

  } elsif ( $x->has_sympathy ) {

    $x->attempt(“comfort”,$aimee);

  } elsif ( $x->is(“zombie”) ) {

    $x->say(“braaaaains”);

    $x->set_locomotion(‘shamble’);

  } else {

    # assume $x->confused asserts to true

   $x->smile;
 }

 
} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “yet more deadpan” ) {

  $x->add_suspicion(“being fucked with”);

} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “eye twitches” ) {

 if ( $x->suspicion(“aimee carrying knife”) ) {

   $x->smile;

   $x->set_locomotion(“slowly back away”);

  } elsif (  $x->first_aid->analyse($aimee) ) {

   $x->use($phone)->call(‘111’);

  } else {

   # assume confusion again

   $x->smile;

   $x->begin(New Conversation);

  }

 
} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “runs screaming” ) {

 if ( $environment->day_night eq “night” AND $environment->full_moon ) {

   $x->transform(‘wolf’);

   $x->give_chase($aimee);

 } else {   $x->set(‘confusion’) = true;

 }

} else {

 # This is normally caused by a memory exception or race condition. instead of handling just restart.

$universe->restart;

}

— ENDS —

I can’t remember which made me guffaw more - the set of conditions involving him having to back away due to my eye twitches, or the werewolf bit.  Anyhoo, much joys :)