During an email conversation with friend, the following happened. Related as it ocurred. Friend shall be referred to as ‘x’
x: /winks
aimee: depending on wink: /looks scared ; /yet more deadpan ; /eye twitches ; /runs screaming
x: Sorry I will have to resort to coding, either that or I have to deal with with parallel universes.
Which is fine, cause I can code for that, but I am not sure gmails support parallel universe responses
if ( $aimee->reaction eq “looks scared” ) {
# Aimee is scared then we can either press the advantage of comfort but this depends on a few states
if ( $x->currently_bastard ) {
# This condition can be triggered by multiple factors.
$x->say(“Oh yeah I like that look”);
} elsif ( $x->has_sympathy ) {
$x->attempt(“comfort”,$aimee);
} elsif ( $x->is(“zombie”) ) {
$x->say(“braaaaains”);
$x->set_locomotion(‘shamble’);
} else {
# assume $x->confused asserts to true
$x->smile;
}
} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “yet more deadpan” ) {
$x->add_suspicion(“being fucked with”);
} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “eye twitches” ) {
if ( $x->suspicion(“aimee carrying knife”) ) {
$x->smile;
$x->set_locomotion(“slowly back away”);
} elsif ( $x->first_aid->analyse($aimee) ) {
$x->use($phone)->call(‘111’);
} else {
# assume confusion again
$x->smile;
$x->begin(New Conversation);
}
} elsif ( $aimee->reaction eq “runs screaming” ) {
if ( $environment->day_night eq “night” AND $environment->full_moon ) {
$x->transform(‘wolf’);
$x->give_chase($aimee);
} else { $x->set(‘confusion’) = true;
}
} else {
# This is normally caused by a memory exception or race condition. instead of handling just restart.
$universe->restart;
}
— ENDS —
I can’t remember which made me guffaw more - the set of conditions involving him having to back away due to my eye twitches, or the werewolf bit. Anyhoo, much joys :)